The Father's heart is a strange thing. At times, it must be 'tough' at the expense of being compassionate. But even in that toughness, the compassion runs through. In the quiet moments, the compassion demands to be heard. The toughness runs like a scared child and the compassion, with groans that cannot be understood, comes rushing forward. It is almost like birth pangs. Almost.
It's times like these I question. I question God and Love and all that makes me a Christian. Not to the point of losing my faith. No. It is that faith that sustains me through these times and out the other side. I am mature enough to know that it is because of times like these that a person truly grows. That 'what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.' But my daughter...my precious only child... doesn't understand that. She can't. She is in the worst pain of her young life. And I haven't the heart to tell her again that it will only happen again. And again. And, perhaps, again.
But, this is like being in shark infested waters. This is where I realize that I am not yet what I need to be. I don't have the words for either my daughter or my wife. Both are in pain and grieving. I can only think of my Mother and how she would have handled it. I'm certain she would have been just like me...in uncharted territory. We know that this is hard. The heart is a strange and wonderful thing. It breaks but is not irreparable. It shatters but is still whole. Almost.
I wish I had the answers for my daughter. But, only in a selfish way. I am glad that I don't have the answers. I am hopeful, that is, full of hope, that through this, she will see Jesus more clearly. I don't know how. But I know she will.
Please pray for us as we go through this and out the other side.
Peace be with you.