The Heart of a Daughter

The heart of a daughter is a precious and fragile thing. And yet, it is the most resilient Juggernaut of all hearts. I see in the brokenness of my daughter's heart, my heart. It is my belief that every Father's heart grows with the breaking of his daughter's heart. Not that it doesn't grow at other times, but when a daughter's heart is breaking and broken, the swell of love and compassion is unspeakable. It almost becomes a mother's heart. Almost.

The Father's heart is a strange thing. At times, it must be 'tough' at the expense of being compassionate. But even in that toughness, the compassion runs through. In the quiet moments, the compassion demands to be heard. The toughness runs like a scared child and the compassion, with groans that cannot be understood, comes rushing forward. It is almost like birth pangs. Almost.

It's times like these I question. I question God and Love and all that makes me a Christian. Not to the point of losing my faith. No. It is that faith that sustains me through these times and out the other side. I am mature enough to know that it is because of times like these that a person truly grows. That 'what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger.' But my precious only child... doesn't understand that. She can't. She is in the worst pain of her young life. And I haven't the heart to tell her again that it will only happen again. And again. And, perhaps, again.

But, this is like being in shark infested waters. This is where I realize that I am not yet what I need to be. I don't have the words for either my daughter or my wife. Both are in pain and grieving. I can only think of my Mother and how she would have handled it. I'm certain she would have been just like uncharted territory. We know that this is hard. The heart is a strange and wonderful thing. It breaks but is not irreparable. It shatters but is still whole. Almost.

I wish I had the answers for my daughter. But, only in a selfish way. I am glad that I don't have the answers. I am hopeful, that is, full of hope, that through this, she will see Jesus more clearly. I don't know how. But I know she will.

Please pray for us as we go through this and out the other side.

Peace be with you.

+ OD


Anglican said…
God our Father, you see your children growing up in an
unsteady and confusing world: Show them that your ways
give more life than the ways of the world, and that following
you is better than chasing after selfish goals. Help them to
take failure, not as a measure of their worth, but as a chance
for a new start. Give them strength to hold their faith in you,
and to keep alive their joy in your creation; through Jesus
Christ our Lord. Amen. (BCP, p. 829)
MScott said…
Jack: What happened? Why is your daughter so heartbroken? Is there anything I can do help? Please let me know.

M. Scott
Ted M. Gossard said…
I'll be praying as I remember, and now. Are things better? Though I know this kind of thing takes time.

Good words, by the way.

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